Hello people of the interweb!
So today I decided to write about something that has been bothering me for a llloooonngg time now. And that is people's dangerous levels of ill-mannered behavior.
When I overheard people talking about these things in a casual and humorous way, it made my blood boil and broke my heart because what these people fail to understand is that words have the power to poke sharper than a needle. And they can either break someone or make someone. And most of these were not even addressed to me but they still managed to infuriate me.
So when these ignorant souls open their mouth to show themselves superior to everybody else I follow these steps:
1. I try to calm myself down from strangling them.
2. I try to knock some sense into them.
3. And if the second step is not possible then..
4. I try to spread awareness about it. So that other people can learn to taste their words before spitting them out.
That being said, here is a list of things I have heard people say that makes me want to gouge their eyes out and feed them to vultures:
image source: Google
1. "Girls who wear clothes like that and live like that kind of ask for it". A comment made by a woman( who must be in her 40s ) for a rape victim.
"She could have dressed properly and taken more precautions when she knows what kind of people live in our country. Not to blame the victim, but she was really careless". A comment made by a 15 year old school going girl for a rape victim.
What I want to say to these two people mentioned above: First of all, I would ask them a question and that question is "Do you read news at all? Or do you live under a rock?" Because the last time I checked, a new born baby girl was raped by a man in his 20s. A 5 year old girl got raped by her van driver. An 11 year old was raped by a man in his 60s!! So were these girls wearing the clothes a little too provocative that made these low-lives lose control and scar the lives of these poor souls with their sickness? Also, can we please stop blaming the victim for everything and start talking about the absolute diabolic behavior of these miscreants?
No matter what a girl wears or whatever she does with her life, NOBODY and I repeat, NOBODY has the right to touch her or do anything to her without her consent. That word, CONSENT is important. Ingrain it in your mind and don't talk like a bloody ignorant. Oh wait! You talk like that because you are a bloody ignorant!
And also, saying something like "not to blame the victim, but...*goes ahead and blames the victim* " is so stupid! Because guess what? You are not fooling anybody. If you think saying something like "Not to blame the victim" will keep you out of trouble then you are mistaken. Because adding that 'but' nullifies everything said before it! And if there was anybody who was careless then it was that loser and it's HIGH TIME that you educate yourself!
"It's these poor innocent salwar-kameez wearing girls who get raped the most and all those other kind of girls who wear mini skirts and go to discos all the time never get raped".
Here's what I want to say: Okay so, Wikipedia defines rape as "Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person's consent." Nowhere does it says *Terms and conditions apply - a girl who goes to nightclubs and wears skirts or shorts or dress or anything that shows her skin has no right to cry about anything if she gets raped.
So next time you open your mouth to say something as offensive as that how about instead of preaching others you take time out of your life to actually preach and educate yourself?
2. "OMG! Don't be such a gay!"
" Yuck! That's so gay-like!"
"Not trying to be mean or anything but he seems kinda gay"
"She's such a lesbian!"
Any sentence that has the words "Gud" "meetha" "faggot" "homo" "fag hag" "fag stag" in them.
Image source: Google
Also, let's stop using "gay" or "lesbian" as if it's a derogatory word! You never hear anyone say "Yuck! What a straight person!" or "Don't be such a straight!". With so much awareness going around regarding the LGBT community, it's extremely shameful that people still use words like those,behave like that and are homophobic assholes! Oppressing someone or treating someone like they are a piece of garbage does not reflect anything about them but it reflects everything about you. So drop the labels already because they are human beings just like anybody else.
3. "She's not even that pretty! God knows what guys find so appealing about her!"
"She's average! Not worth the hype!"
"She probably sleeps around with guys that's why guys find her so attractive".
Image source: Google
What I want to say to these people: Your ideal definition of beauty does not make a person pretty or not pretty. It is not the only one that exists. People find different features attractive. Just because you think long black hair, pointy nose and fair color is beautiful does not mean that a person who doesn't have those characteristics is 'average' or 'not worth the hype'. Some like blue hair, some like dusky dark skin toned people but it does not mean that all the other people in the world who doesn't have them are ugly. You have NO RIGHT to classify a person as pretty or non-pretty so please stop being so self-absorbed. And about the "she probably sleeps around with guys" part, how jealous can you be?
4. "Don't be such a girl!" Comment made by a guy calling his guy friend a girl because he was crying.
"You don't know how to cook? But you're a girl!" A comment made by a lot of people. I have even heard a lot of girls in my college pass this remark.
"You should help around the house. You're a girl after all!" A comment made by one of my relatives.
Image source: Google
Now usually when someone passes a remark like that, all hell breaks loose! I turn into a loose cannon. But if I don't get the opportunity to knock sense into such people then I get super bummed for the rest of the day. Because I am a girl. And NO. I AM NOT WEAK OR USELESS just because I am a girl. Girls are not derogatory terms. So please don't use it like that. Also, GIRLS are not the only ones who should be helping around the house unless they live alone there. If women and men live together in a house then it is the responsibility of everyone who lives in that house to HELP AROUND THE HOUSE. Also, cooking? The rule is simple: Learn to cook food because you are a human being and humans need food to survive and there are going to be a lot of times in the future when you are going to have to cook food for yourself so yeah GIRLS are not the only ones who should learn to cook.
Don't just be a literate. Educate yourself. PPPUUULLLEASSSEEEEEEEEEEEEE.
5. "I am not even a feminist bitch but I think women should not be treated like that".
"Feminists think women are superior to men".
"Feminists are ugly, fat women who don't get guys so they keep lamenting about their loneliness in the name of equal rights"
"Those feminist kind of girls should be taught a lesson. They got too much attitude".
Image source: Google
What I want to say to these people: Do you know how to read and write? If you do, then go to google. Type feminism. And here's the definition you'll find.
"Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies, and social movements that share a common goal: to define and advance political, economic, personal, and social rights for women.[1][2] This includes seeking to establish equal opportunities for women in education and employment." (source: Wikipedia )
Do you see the word "equal opportunities"? It means "same" opportunities as men. Not any less. And certainly not any MORE. So all of you people out there who assume that feminists consider themselves superior to men can take a hike. Also, FEMINISTS BITCH? If a woman is strong and confident enough to be able to point out the wrong done to her then it doesn't make her a bitch.
I guess, bitch was a word invented by men who thought all the girls are supposed to act like a doormat and if she knows what's right for her then she's a bitch because guess what? She's not a doormat.
They can't control a girl like that. And the fact that you are putting too much stress on your shallow brain to come up with things like "Feminists are fat, ugly women" in itself proves that such people are not okay with women having equal rights.
And to the girls who hesitate in calling themselves feminists because they are scared of 'who is going to date me then?', 'I have an image to maintain in front of guys and 'they won't like me if I call myself a feminist'. Please respect yourself enough to know that you are adequate on your own and you don't need a guy like that ( who would not date you because you are a feminist).
6. "She's as flat as a pancake! Why does she even wear a bra?" Comment made by A LOT OF GUYS.
"That girl has no ass and no boobs!! I would never want to have sex with her" A comment made by A LOT OF GUYS.
"Her boobs are way too big! She looks like a porn star!" A comment made by a LOT OF GUYS.
Image source: Google
And I am telling you that it is absolutely insane the amount of time an average guy spends in analyzing or talking about girls' boob size. I have even overheard guys talk about the color of this one girls' nipples in the most obscene way possible. I was not even the girl whom they were talking about and yet I felt super uncomfortable immediately.
What I really wish that guys would understand is the fact that GIRLS ARE HUMAN BEINGS. Please start treating girls with respect. They are not toys. Girls are not put on this earth for you. No one out there exists to please you. NO ONE. You have NO RIGHT to comment something like that about anyone's physical appearance. You don't get to decide what's okay about a person and what's not.
And to girls who think a guy wouldn't date them because they have small boobs or big boobs or small ass or big ass, here's what I have to say to you:
If a guy calls you flat-chested or flat ass or big chested or whatever the heck it is that he calls you (offensively of course) FLICK THESE GUYS OFF. They are lower than the lowest. No decent and educated guy would ever make a comment like that EVER. Why would you want to date someone who only wants you for your boobs or for your ass? That is the most stupid thing I have ever heard in my entire life. What guys think about your body should never matter to you because these kind of guys are immature pricks and they are the ones who usually end up with no one at all. And if they do, God bless that poor girl's soul.
7. "You haven't watched porn ever? How do you know about sex then?"
Image source: Google
Let me just begin this by saying that, I am a pretty socially aware person and it's one of those things that I love about myself. And the whole "how do you know about sex?" part is so stupid. So cringe worthy. Porn is not a sex education class. Porn industry is prostitution on camera. Rape on camera. Sexual molestation on camera. And worse things behind the camera. Those women are treated in the most disgusting manner possible. Every time you click on a porn video, you are demanding for more women to be sexually abused and molested.
So there it is. I did not want to make it too long. I would like to mention that there was a time when even I would have said some of these things because I did not know any better. But now I do. I made myself aware of all of these things.
And when I realized that what I was made to believe in by the society was wrong, I corrected myself. I worked on myself to be a better and more well-informed person. And I am glad that I am able to stand up for myself when I want to because that wasn't the case a lot of the times before. I wish people could have a more open mind towards these things because in this day and age, where a lot of good things are happening, it fills my heart with despair to write that a lot of bad things are happening at the same if not more alarming rate.
That's it for this blog post.
Hope you enjoyed reading.
With lots of love,
Natasha
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