Hello people of the interweb!
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There were a lot of empty-headed notions that I believed in over the past year. But now the wisdom fairy is being extra kind to me and has sprinkled a little too much of that lovely wisdom dust on me. And so taking advantage of all that lovely wisdom dust, I decided to write a blog post because a) It has been a while since I've written anything here and b) WISDOM DUST.
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1. TREATING UNKIND PEOPLE WITH KINDNESS
I believed in "Kill 'em with kindness" before Selena Gomez released that soundtrack. Now I love that song by Selena but I DO NOT, I repeat, I DO NOT comply with that song's message ( not anymore). Because when you treat unkind people with kindness they become more unkind to you because they think they have their control over you (and they also think that you're a doormat). But then that quote that you read so much everywhere pops up in your mind "Be kind to unkind people, they need it the most" and so you try to be kind to them but THEM being THEM ( FART CATCHER to be exact ) do nothing but kill you and your kindness. They kill your kindness towards yourself and other people who deserve your kindness.
Here's what I've learned: "Stop treating unkind people with kindness". They don't deserve your kindness. The reason people are unkind or mean to other people is that they're really insecure about themselves ( yeah I'm stating the obvious I know but it's true nonetheless).They are the kind of people who would not even piss on fire to save you(if you get that reference then, oh well, good for you ). So when you are being kind to them they don't think they are on the wrong side of the track and hence they keep on with their behaviour. So what you need to do instead is to be assertive and point out that their behaviour is wrong and if they continue with that behaviour then you need to cut them off of your list. They don't deserve your kindness. They don't deserve your attention. So unless these mean-spirited people learn to get themselves on the right track you need not pay any heed to them. And if it is absolutely necessary to be kind then use this: "Would you care for some distance between us? Take as much as you want."
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2. GIVING NOT ONE NOT TWO BUT BAZILLION CHANCES TO THE WRONG PEOPLE
Now I don't know where the wisdom fairy was last year but she wasn't there with me ( for all I know ). Making mistakes is normal. It's natural. We're all humans. We're all going to make mistakes. But making the same kind of mistakes not once not twice but FIVE TIMES is not a mistake. It's a habit. It's a mindset.
So there's only one advice I would give to the last year Natasha and that is: Stop giving chances to people who abuse your forgiveness. Because the more chances you give, the more respect you lose. The possibility of always having a chance waiting for them is not going to make people learn from their mistakes. So next time somebody doesn't treat you right the first time, you know what to do. Save yourself the trouble ahead and WALK AWAY.
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3. NOT TREATING THE PEOPLE WHO TRULY LOVE ME THE RIGHT WAY
People who truly love you are those people, those lovely cherub-faced precious people. YOUR FAMILY. Your family loves you and they are always there for you at the end of the day. They're also really happy when you spend time with them. So why waste your time with other people who don't even love you and ignore people who do? I know they can be whiny sometimes but it's only because they care for you (cheesy much? Sorry not sorry).
So my advice to myself (and to anybody else who cares) would be to start spending more time with your family. Don't take them for granted. You don't have to spend all of your time with them. But make sure that the time you spend with them is quality time. Make them feel loved and special. These are the kind of people who deserve your love. Spoil THEM( in a good way) and buy gifts for them. They'll love it.
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4. BEING INACTIVE
Being active is very important in life. And I know how important it is now since I got out of that black hole of inactivity where you do nothing but sit in bed all day and wonder when your life is going to get better. Well, NEWSFLASH, life is not going to get better by sitting in bed all day watching reruns of Gilmore girls and hoping that your boyfriend would start appreciating you or wondering why your teacher is a smellfungus or why people are the way they are or why Brad Paisley won't marry you.
But life will get better when you start being active. When you get out of your comfort zone and start doing things for yourself. Now don't get me wrong I LOVE sitting in bed all day watching reruns of Gilmore girls but not all the time. Not 7 days a week. So get active and just move your body It doesn't mean you have to do cardio 24/7 but start doing things for yourself. JUST DO IT.
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5. COMPARING MYSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE
Hello! My name is Natasha Mathur and I'm a "comparaholic". This is seriously one of the lamest mistakes that people make in their lives and it is also the root cause of all unhappiness and discontentment in this world. It is very easy to fall into this trap. So be very careful you ( whoever you are that is reading this ).
If there's one thing that I could remind myself all day long then it would be this: STOP COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE. That's not your job. There are plenty of other people willing to do that for you. All thank the wisdom fairy because I don't do that anymore. Also, a very wise person once said "Don't compare yourself to other people. We are all losing our shit. Some just hide it better than the others."
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6. NOT BEING MYSELF
One of the biggest mistakes anybody can make in their lives is not being themselves but this completely another person that people believe they are or that people want to believe they are. So my advice to myself and any other person who is having a hard time being themselves would be to do what they want and be what they want and say what they want to say. It's never too late to be who you really are. YOU DO YOU. Want to dye your hair a crazy color? Do it. Want to get a really unique hair cut? Get it done. Want to wear a really thick winged eyeliner all day?Do that. You don't have to justify your actions to anyone as long as you are being true to yourself and as long as you know that your actions are not harming anybody else in the process. Be confident about who you are and what you do and what you feel. There's no one else in this world who can take your place. You matter.
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Now, these are not all the mistakes that I made. I'm pretty sure I made a lot more of them but these were just the major ones. And I will keep making more in the future but the good thing about making mistakes is that you learn from them. And these lessons that you learn are invaluable. So let's keep making mistakes (but not the same ones) and let's keep learning from those mistakes. And as it goes "falling down is a part of life. Getting back up is living."
I hope you enjoyed reading this.
Lots of love,
Natasha
